The Week in the life of our Chairman Malcolm Ogle
THE CONTENT OF THIS PAGE IS MY OPINION ONLY, AND DOES NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT
UPON ANY OTHER MEMBER'S VIEWS OR COMMENTS UNLESS SPECIFICALLY STATED.
Hello again.
What a strange day weather wise. Anne and I set off for our club walk at Priory Park, Bedford driving on a bed of fresh snow. Soon the roads were clear and the sun shining brightly. The walk was completed having shivered a little against the fresh breeze, but keeping dry and warm in the main. Not sure how many took part but seemed well supported. It was nice to get home and soak awhile in the hot tub!!
The new Mazda RX 8 sports car is on it’s way to being sold. I’ve only had it for a month but it’s cost me £30 per week in fuel, £136 to replace a tyre and £102 to fit a new battery!!!. I am trading it in for a 9 month old Hyundai I 30 complete with a five year warranty (almost). Next time you see me look for the letter G tattooed to my forehead!!! I took enough ribbing about the car at the walk today.
This week I go for a CT scan on my kidney area as my left one is only 9% efficient (allegedly). This will be followed up three days later with a meeting with the consultant to see what action (if any) needs carrying out. Can’t see much of a problem really, I seem to be up a couple of times each night for a tinkle!! (I remember a little rhyme I once saw saying “if you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and lift the seat)”!! Talk about word association??
The many many hours I have spent tracing my family history seems to have been a complete waste of time. On my fathers side I cannot make any progress as he was born in India!! On my mothers side I had around a thousand names linked in only to find that her mother (my Grandmother) lied through her back teeth about her age to enable early entry into a nursing career. So all the dates I have to work with are nowhere near correct. I have been following the wrong bloody woman!!!! So now I am following my step daughter, Hannah’s, family line as I just cannot stop doing it!!
Keep on walking and shake hands with new friends.
Your walking speed and the strength of your grip may help determine how likely you are to develop dementia or stroke.
According to research conducted at the Boston Medical Centre, these tests can easily be conducted by a neurologist or GP on middle aged patients.
The study looked at 2,400 men and women with an average age of 62 over 11 years, testing them for walking speed, hand grip strength and cognitive function.
It found that people with a slower walking speed in middle age were one-and-a-half times more likely to develop dementia compared to those who walked faster.
Those with a stronger hand grip had a 42 per cent lower risk of stroke or transient ischemic attack when aged over 65, as compared to those with a weaker grip. However this finding did not apply to those under the age of 65.
"While frailty and lower physical performance in elderly people have been associated with an increased risk of dementia, we weren't sure until now how it impacted people of middle age," said Dr Erica C. Camargo from Boston Medical Centre.
The tests also found that slower walking was associated with lower total cerebral brain volume and poorer performance on memory, language and decision-making tests.
Stronger hand grip strength was linked with larger total cerebral brain volume and better performance on cognitive tests.
"Further research is needed to understand why this is happening and whether preclinical disease could cause slow walking and decreased strength," Dr Camargo said.
The research results were published today and will be presented at the annual meeting of the American Academy of Neurology in April.
IT’S A FUNNY OLD WORLD.
Why the law is an old-fashioned ass over social media
Shortly after the Japanese tsunami last March, American comedian Gilbert Gottfried tweeted: "Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them." As a result, Gottfried was fired from his lucrative role voicing a duck on TV ads for US insurer Aflac, which, unfortunately for him, does 75% of its business with Japan.
Paul Chambers has suffered more for his now-infamous bad Twitter joke. His case has become a benchmark for what can legitimately be said on social media, and a cause célèbre among comedians who argue their livelihoods depend on being able to tell bad jokes without fear or favour. After Chambers' arrest, 4,000 Twitter users re-tweeted his message but none was arrested, thereby, they claimed, highlighting the law's absurdity in this area.
Sitcom writer Graham Linehan, who supports Chambers' appeal, says: "There was another case of two guys who got tried for tweeting something like, 'Let's go to Curry's and pick up a TV'. And the judge said, 'You're both idiots', but didn't convict them. Where's the consistency? They get off and Paul's life is destroyed. It wasn't a threat, or a hoax. It was one guy who didn't realise he was making a bad joke that would ruin his life. That's totally unfair." Linehan argues that instead of arresting Chambers "a policeman on Twitter should have written to him saying 'Listen, mate, I know you're only joking but can you take that down?'
The judges' appeal ruling is awaited with trepidation by Linehan. "I don't want to insult the people deciding Paul's future but I wish they would get a young relative to take them through Twitter and explain what it's about. Lots of people tweet things like 'I'll kill that woman' or 'I'll bomb something'. Most of the time they're not to be taken seriously."
The issue isn't always clear-cut. For Linehan such cases highlight official ignorance about social media. "We are at a stage in society where one level understands social networking and then there are people who control the gears of society who don't get it. All the laws on this are from a pre-internet world."
A LITTLE HUMOUR.
The 1400's a law was set forth in England
that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than
his thumb.
Hence we have 'the rule of thumb'
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was
invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies
Forbidden'.
and thus, the word GOLF entered into the English language.
The first couple to be shown in bed together on
prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Coca-Cola was originally green.
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
The cost of raising a medium-size dog
to the age of eleven:
£ 10,120.00
The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David.
Hearts – Charlemagne.
Clubs -Alexander, the Great.
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
Q.. If you were to spell out numbers, how far
would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'
A. One thousand.
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes,
windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight'
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000
years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would
supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey
beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called
the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts....
So in old England , when customers got unruly,
the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and
settle down. It's where we get the phrase: 'mind your P's and Q's'
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a
whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they
needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your
whistle is the phrase inspired by this practice.
At least 75% of people who read this will try
To lick their elbow!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2012 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the
microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards
in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach
your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with
friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your
mobile phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries...
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen
8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no 9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a 9 on this list
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends.
You know you want to!
And stop trying to lick your elbow!
This is strange...can you figure it out?
Are you the 2% or 98% of the population?
Follow the instructions! NO PEEKING AHEAD!
Do the following exercise, guaranteed to raise an eyebrow.
There's no trick or surprise.
Just follow these instructions, and answer the questions one at a time and as
quickly as you can!
Think of a number from 1 to 10
Multiply that number by 9
If the number is a 2-digit number, add the digits together
Now subtract 5
Determine which letter in the alphabet corresponds to the number you ended up with.
(example: 1=A, 2=B, 3=C,etc.)
Think of a country that starts with that letter.
Remember the last letter of the name of that country.
Think of the name of an animal that starts with that letter.
Remember the last letter in the name of that animal.
Think of the name of a fruit that starts with that letter.
Are you thinking of a Kangaroo in Denmark eating an Orange ?
I told you this was FREAKY!! If not, you're among the 2% of the population whose minds are different enough to think of something else. 98% of people will answer with kangaroos in Denmark when given this exercise.
Have a great week.
Malc Ogle.
Last updated: Sunday 19th February 2012.